Maybe It Isn’t Jealousy

There’s more written in polyamorous literature about jealousy and compersion than possibly anything else. And still, the feeling of compersion seems elusive for many. Compersion— a word coined within polyamory but increasingly finding mainstream use— is defined as an...

The Drama Vortex

The Drama Triangle: a model for understanding interpersonal conflict. Again and again I return to this model to understand my own accountability in contributing to conflict, and as a tool for supporting others in navigating conflict. The Drama Triangle is a relational...

Martyrdom Is Not A Love Language

“Enough with the martyrdom, Mel, you need to step out of that.” My friend Chris and I were finishing up a session of peer coaching (because even coaches need coaching from time to time) and he added this as a little aside at the end. We’d been talking about a...

Self Love And Resilience

I’ve long believed that the most important relationship we have in our lives is the relationship we have with ourselves. When our relationship with ourselves is poor, that’s when we start to reach out to others in needy, and sometimes codependent ways. We might find...