Mini Workshops & Presentations:

Honest Non Monogamy 101

This workshop has been presented at festivals and conferences around the world, including Bass Coast Festival, Anthropos Music Festival, Burn In The Forest, Cumberland Wild, and West Coast Bound.

Open relationships? Polyamory? Relationship Anarchy? For many people, ethical and honest non monogamy is about freedom: freedom to love who you want, when you want, in whatever way feels authentic between adults and is mutually consensual. It has a rosy reputation for being about not putting limitations on whom or how you love, being able to acknowledge your needs and desires and dreams, knowing that to expect one person alone to fulfill all of them is way too much pressure. 

But what’s the reality? How do the myths differ from the practical applications? How does it actually work in real life? Is non monogamy some enlightened approach to living, or simply another set of options for relating to other humans? Is there a Golden Path to polyamorous perfection, or is it a multilinear dance where we each get to decide what works for us as individuals?

When Mel began exploring non-monogamy she found there were a lot of myths and misconceptions around the practice of polyamory and open relationships. Now, as a relationship coach, she assists individuals and couples in navigating the terrain of open relating. 

This workshop will offer an overview of important things to consider if you are contemplating pursuing open relationships. 

The Monogamy Hangover

This workshop offers a primer to the Monogamy Detox course, and has been shared across North America, including at the Solo Polyamory Unconference, ConvergeCon, and in various polyamorous and open relationship meetup groups.

When Monogamy is challenged— be it  through cheating, a breakup, or the opening of a relationship— an internal struggle can ensue as we attempt to reconcile the new reality with the monogamy fantasy we’ve held. That struggle can result in feelings of shame, an experience of being emotionally frozen. It might interrupt our flow of communication with our loved ones, and it can lead to unconsciously self-sabotaging actions within our relationships.

This experience is what I call The Monogamy Hangover.

In this mini workshop we will dive into understanding how to recognise the toxic dimensions of monogamy, and explore how we can detox from the cultural scripts that can continue to influence and direct us even when we are seeking to explore non-monogamy, or conscious monogamy.

Navigating Complex Relationship Dynamics

aka “Why Is This Threesome So Complicated?”

For most people, one relationship alone is fraught with complex dynamics to navigate. Multiply the number of relationships, and things can get exponentially complicated − sometimes when you least expect it!

In this mini workshop, Mel will help us look at a different way of framing non-monogamous relationships, to help us understand the ways we participate in creating friction in our network − and how we can take action to resolve it. This will be useful for folks in polyamorous relationships, as well as people with kink-based relationships or swinging communities, and for folks managing complex relationships within blended families. 

This session will include:

▪ How 3 people can have 19 relationships between them

▪ How to understand whose “stuff” is coming up when there’s conflict (hint: it’s often more than one person!)

▪ An overview of The Drama Triangle and Triangulation, and how to break free from it

Full Day Workshops:

Honest Non Monogamy : The Essentials

For many people, ethical and honest non monogamy is about freedom: freedom to love who you want, when you want, in whatever way feels authentic between adults and is mutually consensual. It has a rosy reputation for being about not putting limitations on whom or how you love, being able to acknowledge your needs and desires and dreams, knowing that to expect one person alone to fulfill all of them is way too much pressure.

But what’s the reality? How do the myths differ from the practical applications? How does it actually work in real life? Is non monogamy some enlightened approach to living, or simply another set of options for relating to other humans? Is there a Golden Path to polyamorous perfection, or is it a multilinear dance where we each get to decide what works for us as individuals?

Whether honest non-monogamy is new to you, or you have years of experience, this full day workshop promises to offer fresh and insightful perspectives, and empower you with new tools to assist you in enjoying more fulfilling relationships!

Pathways to Radical Intimacy

What do you want, and why is it so scary to ask for it?

What clues do our desires give us about our needs?

How can knowing our core needs help us to develop deeper intimacy with our loved ones?

How does trauma impact our ability to share intimacy, and how can we support experiences of building and strengthening trust in our relationships?

What can we do to nurture a lasting feeling of intimacy and connection- not just between partners, but between friends, community, and tribe- in a way that is consensual and offers space for individual expression?

In this dynamic full-day workshop, we’ll be exploring some practical tools for developing intimacy, empathy, connection, and diving into core needs and desires- with activities that include playing interactive games that will combine theatrics, physical touch, and communication.*

This workshop is an invitation for anyone who wants to deepen their relationship with themselves to step into a new experience of intimacy. This workshop is for everyone who has ever felt stuck, alone, or afraid of connection.

“True Intimacy asks for more than eye-gazing; it calls upon a kindness with one another’s shadows and gentleness with all our imperfections.”

*This is not a sexual workshop, and participation in activities is optional.

Online Courses:

The Monogamy Detox

A life-time access course that starts twice a year with 6 weeks of live class calls and coursework. 

For all its good— sense of security, continuity, deep knowing of your partner— there’s a mythos and fairy tale ideal that society encourages us to follow, one which can leave us feeling broken in our relationships, like a record stuck on repeat. We keep trying the same things over and over, and get the same unfulfilling results.

This fantasy of ‘perfect partnership’ foisted upon us has deep roots. But how relevant is it today, when we know that partnerships are not necessarily life-long, or exclusive? When we experience cheating, a breakup, or the opening of a relationship, a struggle starts between our hearts and minds. That struggle can result in feelings of shame, an experience of being emotionally frozen. You may feel like you can’t respond to things you know you should. It might interrupt your flow of communication, or keep you from feeling like you can freely express yourself. You might even find that you are unconsciously self-sabotaging yourself.

Click here to learn more and sign up!

Start Your Journey

Mel is an incredible listener and her attention to detail was crucial. I walked away with much more than I had anticipated: I came away with a lot of tools to work with, and also a comfortable understanding of who I am and how I present myself to others. Mel is nothing short of awesome at what she does, and I will continue to use her as a resource and recommend her.

Thank you so much Mel, you rock!!!
 
Anon
Colorado, USA
Mel maintains a calm demeanor with low pressure conversation. She's approachable and accessible. She cares. It shows. Her passion for intimacy and relationship actualization shines through. Sex positive, poly aware, and kink aware, Mel is a very versatile specialist and adviser - the perfect counselling choice no matter how simple or complicated your concern or situation is.
 
Victor
BC, Canada
"My session with Mel went beyond value for money. She created an immediate sense of being seen and heard in non-judgmental space. Mel reflected accurate insights to me, and held space for me to explore things that were beneath the surface. I was moved by the integrity she worked from in our sharing. I felt great compassion and wisdom with her, and my thoughts and emotions  shifted to we worked. Mel is sharing a gift with her energy. "
 
Anon
Edmonton, AB, Canada
"Thank you so much for a wonderful workshop! Thank you for the space you held and your guidance. So enriching to spend time with good people on a path of evolution."
 
James
Victoria, BC, Canada
Mel has been an incredibly valuable asset to me in helping to evolve my relationship skills and helping me to empathize with my partners. Her workshops and her coaching have drastically improved the communication level and quality of my relationships.
 
Gabriel
BC, Canada
"Your work has reminded me that perhaps there isn’t anything wrong with me at all. I am amazed at the deep levels of shame we carry as human beings because we don’t fit into the construct that is given to us as a model for our life. It feels exciting because I can now explore what I want for my life rather than be gifted something that just doesn’t feel right for me."

Craig P

Australia
Mel is an exceptional communicator and listener. Having known her personally and attended several of her workshops I can attest that she has the rare combination of perspective and presentation that many more experienced facilitators lack. I highly recommend her offerings.
 
Anon
BC, Canada
In my experiences with Mel's workshops, writings, and counsel, I have received a unique and innovative perspective in to a world of relationship wonder and intrigue. Mel's work offers a look in to the multifaceted mysteries of relation, intimacy, the self and various types of connections we make.
 
Anon
BC, Canada
Mel has been a tremendous source of inspiration for my relationships and my community at large. She presents with a combination of professionalism, knowledge and open-minded curiosity that makes her safe and approachable. My profound journey through love and relationships has definitely been helped through the time I have spent with Mel.
 
Erin
Rotterdam, Netherlands
Mel has some seriously great communications skills and methodologies. I've seen a lot of facilitators in my time and she ranks up here with the best. I won't hesitate to take another of her workshops.
 
Marissa
BC, Canada
I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for your coaching yesterday. It really helped me to focus in on what mattered and what I want and to know where I stand in my relationship and with these shiny new polyboots!
The conversation with my partner went amazingly well. Like really really well. We found much common ground and even discovered our common kinks. I am feeling so loved and supported and ready for this next adventure. Thank you for being a part of that!
Anon
Vancouver, Canada
Mel's skill and comfort with questioning and reformulating beliefs regarding relationships is contagious. If you want to open up to new possibilities, she can be a resource for you.
Nick
BC, Canada
Just wanted to send my deep gratitude and appreciation for your workshop. I let go of some self-indictments around believing something "different" about love, and was able to move towards being more in integrity with myself (and those with whom I relate). I was also able to become really clear about my core "essentials" in relationships (whether monogamous or non-monogamous; romantic/sexual, emotional, social/community or other), and am certain these breakthroughs will only serve my own wellbeing and the wellbeing of those I have relationships with now and in the future more than I can even comprehend.
Anon
Victoria, BC, Canada
Thank you for your kind help and wisdom at such a fragile time - I appreciate it so much and it helped a lot
 
Anon
Australia

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