In February of 2021, the American Psychological Association adopted new guidelines for psychological practice with sexual minority persons.
These guidelines represent a huge and necessary leap forward in the standard of care that mental health professionals in North America can be expected to provide to their clients and patients who practice Consensual Non Monogamy (the clinical term given to forms of open relationships that happen with the knowledge and consent of all involved, sometimes also called Ethical Non Monogamy).
However, few professionals within the mental health fields or other helping professions have been fortunate enough to receive training that prepares them for navigating the complexities of the lives of non-monogamous clients, and even then, continuing education training must work in such broad strokes that nuances and specifics can be overlooked.
I offer my professional services as a relationship coach, with years of experience ‘in the trenches’ of working with non-monogamous folks, to consult with mental health and other professionals wanting to learn more about the dynamics of non-monogamy as part of improving their standard of care for their Consensually Non Monogamous clients and patients. I bring in my experience with somatics and trauma informed practices, alongside frameworks that include Karpman’s Drama Triangle, Bowen Family Systems, and Attachment Theories, to empower therapists and other professionals in their work.
Please email to enquire about professional consults and trainings.
You may also find the links below helpful.
“What if it truly doesn't matter what you do, but how you do whatever you do?”
~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer
"You’re a gem of a coach... There are so few as well-researched, as curious, as principled, and as grounded as you. Your resources are pure gold."
I've been able to articulate and communicate much better within my relationships and to create safe spaces.
"I felt completely isolated and confused when it came to relationships when I first found Mel for coaching. After only one session, I knew she was a relationship mentor I could trust and wanted to learn more from."
Mel is an incredible listener and her attention to detail was crucial. I walked away with much more than I had anticipated: I came away with a lot of tools to work with, and also a comfortable understanding of who I am and how I present myself to others. Mel is nothing short of awesome at what she does, and I will continue to use her as a resource and recommend her.
Thank you Mel for such an enlightening and helpful workshop! I thoroughly enjoyed all of it and look forward to continued learning from you. So grateful for all these extra resources.
The work you are doing is changing the world in such positive ways, and helping people change their own worlds, both inner and outer.
"It was so good for me to open up and a relief to see that things don't have to be so black and white but within this there is still the possibility of clarity and a more personal, creative and radical approach to relationships... Love what you are offering Mel. You are awesome at what you are doing! It was great for me to be out of my comfort zone and to hear from folks who appeared to be very much in theirs. Thank you!"
"I first took the class in spring 2020. The experience was like a seed planted in the garden that sprouted and continues to sink deeper roots and grow taller, reaching for the sun and remaining an important part of my relationship garden"
~ Paul, Monogamy Detox Course Student
"I desperately knew in my bones there was another script out there for me but when I struggled to find a healthy version of one, I haphazardly began writing it myself. And now?! To come into an entire community of people actively peeling back the veil to reveal their own trauma and vulnerability?? I am over the moon and feel so enthusiastic all the time. It's the first time in the last several years where I have had such sustained joy and direction."
~ Anon Course Student
"Your work has reminded me that perhaps there isn’t anything wrong with me at all. I am amazed at the deep levels of shame we carry as human beings because we don’t fit into the construct that is given to us as a model for our life. It feels exciting because I can now explore what I want for my life rather than be gifted something that just doesn’t feel right for me."
"After the workshop I felt like I could breathe again. I felt like my version of non-monogamy wasn't "wrong" and, even more helpful, my former partners wasn't either. I connected with people thinking of the same things as I was, struggling with the same things, and asking questions like me. I cried. I breathed. And for the first time in my life I didn't feel like a love alien dropped onto this planet."